Today, President Donald J. Trump declared that a major disaster exists in the Trump Administration and ordered psychological assistance to supplement recovery efforts in the areas affected by severe amorality, recklessness, impulsiveness, ignorance and pettiness.
Federal funding is available to eligible Administrative staff who are members of the Trump family by birth or by marriage.
Federal funding is also available to members of the Republican caucus and FoxNews.
Brock Long, Administrator, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), Department of Homeland Security, named Eric Trump as the Federal Coordinating Officer for Federal fund distribution to the eligible grifters.
Additional designations may be made at a later date if requested by the SCROTUS and warranted by the results of further emoluments violations.